out of the blue

Tomorrow I set off on a journey of epic proportions to devour the glorious vistas along the mountain trail, to shun the conveniences of civilization, and to fellowship with my brotherhood of friends in a peaceful haven nestled amongst the crags of the Cascades. The destination, Rock Lake, is a place of myth and of legend. I have heard tales of its wonders from travellers who have past occasioned upon it, and now I go to see for myself whether they hold true with the reality. Will the rumours surpass the legend, as happens so often in this age of dreary mediocrity. Or will the legend instead surpass the rumours and fill me with joy in my first tasting of it, that thereafter on my pilgrimage I am sent into transports of delight that will end only reluctantly upon the return? Perhaps I may always long for another glimpse, but forever be bound to this drab plane in which we live. And will then my life be fuller or more pale that I have gazed upon the bounty of the Earth? I shall cast myself into that uncertainty, and emerge with a new understanding. Gods willing, I may have the better of the two.

Upon my return, you will not need simply take my words as truth, for I shall bring back evidence of my travels, that you may also delight in its beauty. A fiendish device I have, which steals the essence of a place and throws it into its bowels, only to keep it trapped there for all eternity. It may then be paraded about on other arcane instruments, so other eyes may glimpse the memories of another. These visions and more I shall convey into your hands from afar.

Wish me luck, that I may indeed share in the perfection of experience, and be filled with light when once again I speak to you.

(A necessary piece of equipment for such a sojourn into the uncivilized corners of the world is the "tent", which, though found in many various sizes and shapes and manufacture, often includes a strange contraption called a "zipper". This has been causing me no end of grief for the last couple years. I finally examined it, and sought teaching in its setting-right. From there, it was but an easy step to mend the "zipper". Now no tragic flaws exist in my equipment, and I may depart in all readiness; this is the victory of which I spoke.)

Good news! My computer is up and running again!

Many thanks to Neil Tuttle, who is a wonderful person :)

Patrick Nielsen Hayden linked to a scathing review by Roger Ebert. It's really stylish. Here's the part of the review he quoted:

According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year’s Best Picture Nominees and wrote that they were “ignored, unloved and turned down flat by most of the same studios that…bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.”

Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: “Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind…Maybe you didn’t win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven’t invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who’s Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers.”

Reading this, I was about to observe that Schneider can dish it out but he can’t take it. Then I found he’s not so good at dishing it out, either. I went online and found that Patrick Goldstein has won a National Headliner Award, a Los Angeles Press Club Award, a RockCritics.com award, and the Publicists’ Guild award for lifetime achievement.

Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks.

But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo while passing on the opportunity to participate in Million Dollar Baby, Ray, The Aviator, Sideways and Finding Neverland. As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

Patrick ends his post with, "Speaking in my official capacity as a reader, I would not be surprised to hear that, at the moment that Roger Ebert typed that concluding statement into his word processor, he was bodily transported into Heaven, his work on Earth done. How can the rest of his life be anything but a pale anticlimax?"

Well, the Hugo award winners are up now on Locus News. Check it out. I read Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, and it's a wonderful novel. I'm glad it got the Hugo. I'll have to find a way to read some of the other award winners.

I realize that I'm lessening my own chances of winning this thing, but anyone who likes Neil Gaiman should go enter the contest on HarperCollins to win "a Neil Gaiman library! The library includes the paperback editions of American Gods, Neverwhere, Stardust, Coraline, Smoke and Mirrors, hardcover editions of Mirrormask and The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish, and the new hardcover, Anansi Boys."

Where did The Wolves in the Walls go?

This seems like a good step in the right direction. With a specific definition of terrorism, it will become harder to use "terrorism" as a blanket excuse to go out and destroy things. Not that anyone would do anything like that…

The Article

Their definition is: "any act intended to intimidate a population or to compel a government or an international body to act." That is pretty sensible.

But there are very tangible objections raised, mainly in the rights of civilians to take up arms against a government in order to protect their rights.

When confronted by this, Secretary General Annan's chief of staff compares the UN's move to limit terrorists to the limits placed on States by the Geneva conventions: "The argument now is that individuals who use violence for political purposes must similarly be constrained by similarly unambiguous definitions, and that there must be clear straightforwardness in condemning them."

What do you think about this definition? Is making a definition potentially as dangerous as leaving it undefined? I'm eager to see what people say.

Yesterday I went to see a band called March Fourth (named after the day of their first gig), and they were quite awesome. They're a combination of a marching band and a troupe of carnival performers. Tons of energy. If you ever get a chance to go see them, do so. Especially if you can do it for free like I did at the Saturday Market here in downtown Portland. I had a lot of fun sketching the various band members in their eclectic costumes, but it was very difficult because of how much they were moving around.

The highlight of the choreography had to be a song which was accompanied by the people on stilts moving some people on the ground like marionettes. At first, they were completely yielding, doing exactly what the puppeteers wanted them to. But as the dance went on, they would start to take their own initiative, and throw in small movements. They began to grab the strings that controlled them, and soon enough they were controlling themselves more than being controlled. At the finale, as the music got faster and faster, the marionettes ripped themselves free, string by string, and began circling around the puppeteers. The people on stilts ended up tied in the very strings that controlled their puppets at the beginning. Quite awesome.

So, go find them.

Although I'm in no way an alcohol-lover, I found this way too amusing not to pass on.

Vores Øl is the first of it's kind: an open-source beer. Generally, recipes for beers are carefully guarded by their brewers, so this is rather a unique case. Anyone is free to download the recipe and the label, and brew their own Vores Øl.

The Article

The FAQ from the Vores Øl page

That's the title of a news item on BBC News. I for one applaud their efforts. These grannies have been protesting outside of a Recruitment Center every week for three whole years. They got tired of that. So, instead of protesting inside it, they went inside to sign up to be recruited. The army claimed that they weren't serious, rather just harassing recruiters, but the article addresses that:

[Ms Birnie] said the charge was an "overreaction", and that the grannies had been serious about joining the army."We would like to replace our young who are in the firing line," Ms Birnie said.

The article can be found here.

Go grannies!

If you want a little bit of awesomeness (not coolness, of course), read Nathan's journal on turning twenty-one. It's brilliant.

Then, start using clutch as your new slang, as suggested by Ann.