out of the blue

I passed out today! Woohoo! It made me excited, and amused, and gave me some stuff to think about. Yeah. Probably not your typical reaction, but I'm not your typical person. So I decided not to pass out in a typical place. It went something like this…

My glasses have been giving me trouble for some time now. I snapped one of the earpieces off about 9 months ago, and they've never been the same. They break down often; I think they're enchanted so that the tape wears off at the most inopportune moment. I was finally able to take action against them by making a devil's contract with a lady certified as an optometrist. Dark magic, indeed.

I went there, suspecting trouble, but she was a most helpful lady with an interesting accent I can't place. It seemed she was going to help me after all. I sat down in her chair, looked through her arcane instruments, and allowed her to direct my actions. She peered carefully into my eyes through lenses, and flashed bright lights into them, and made notes on a small piece of parchment she held absently in one hand. Finally, she told me it was time to dilate them. What deviltry is this? I thought to myself, but still I submitted. She removed a cork from a cleverly crafted bottle that was kept unlabelled in a dark cabinet, buarded by enchantment so secure that not even a full-mage could break through them. She tilted the vial slowly, and let fall two silver drops glistening into each eye.

A strange sensation ran through my body, my eyes tried to blink, but felt strangely heavy. For a moment my mind whirled in meaningless circle. Then it faded away, and I thought everything was normal. After all, wouldn't one expect strange feelings and otherworldly humours when dealing with such magic as optometry? We went into the other room to discuss frames for my new pair of glasses. They would be carefully crafted with dwarf-forged hinges, and bespelled to resist scratches. The shape was being discussed, when the dizzy feeling returned. It began to get worse, quickly. What have you done to me! I cried to the sorceress, but she looked just as confused as I was. "I'm going to sit down", I told her fuzzily, and walked towards the chairs on the other side of the room. I was mostly there, when my mind left me, and I fell into a blurry oblivion.

What would have happened had I not taken my mother along with me, I don't know. All I can be sure of is that the optometrist didn't do untoward things to me. I returned to my body slowly, and my mind took a minute to grow accustomed to being back. I didn't realize anything was wrong for a minute, before the slow thought pushed itself into my head that I was lying down. "Now why is that", I wondered, and through a series of remembrances and deductions, I realized that I had passed out. Naturally, my first thoughts were, Cool! I had been wondering how that felt. My thoughts soon crept over to the sizeable lump developing on my head.

Apparently, from my mother's account, I had been walking towards the chair, when I suddenly veered off towards the right and crashed into a glass case full of glasses frames. They flew everywhere, and scattered about the room, as my body decided to react by falling backwards. In the process of falling, my head hit the corner of a small table for magazines, and I came to rest lying on my back, unconscious.

So, I was pretty much aware of my situation by now, but I was still a bit dazed, so when I sat up and saw the glasses on the floor, I wondered what they were doing there. I wasn't as surprised as I should have been, because I didn't make the connection between the glasses' unusual resting places and my own spectacular collision.

I soon was able to get up, and complete my bargain with the optometrist. All devil's bargains have a cost, and it seems I have paid mine. We left under cover of bright sunshine that burned my eyes. Apparently all of my enemies were still hiding in their dark caves, for we weren't attacked in my state of weakness. Soon I had the story out of my mother, and I expressed my gratitude at her assistance.

My glasses will soon be in their full power, and I will be possessed of unusual clarity of Sight. May the world fear.